home sweet home :)

don't you just love it when u are at your own home in your own world having your food and house chores taken care of and u can just relax and do things that u don't get to do often like reading a good book?

so anyways, since i just got the time and the resources...

mugging in progress

after exams

lol i came across this when i was searching for my photos.. my bro, he's all grown up now *shed tears* yesterday i measured his height.. 171cm! my bro is so close to becoming a 180 hunk.. hhehehe

my summer assignment duh

“Most of us walk around as if we were sleep-walking. We really don’t experience the world fully, because we’re half asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.” (Tuesdays With Morrie)

This line struck me much along with the lecture given by A/P about the need of constantly reflecting on things we encounter because of the too many things that we remotely do every day. Many who come across me I believed would describe me as a person with few words or more crudely, boring. Holding a conversation sometimes poses great difficulties as I often have problems organizing my trains of thoughts in a short time and hence have problems putting my message across. I was being rather cynical at first when the professor told us how he spend a fraction of his time on daily, monthly and yearly basis to reflect on what he has done so that he would have a clear direction of where he is heading to. It occurred to me that it is extremely wearing to have to have such disciplines in life and why wouldn’t it be correct to just lead a life of spontaneity and carefree. Then I realized that allowing my train of thoughts to drift off constantly hinders me from connecting well with people and to a certain extent, experiencing life. Therefore I came to a conclusion that, a rigid fixation of time for me to do reflections is mighty impossible, but, a reflection once in a while would be great..and so! it's time for me to shop for a nice journal book!

note: this is a fraction of the journal i'm supposed to hand in by the end of the program..well.... prolly have to take out the last part :D

my face

honey relieves skin sensitivity and allergy, but on mine, it works the other way round

:(

hello red face
i look like one of the creature in star trek

three years, out

Summer holiday has started about a week ago, and the strangest thing is, the feeling of freedom was not as over-whelming as how I remembered it had been like. I started to reminisce the first few days of stepping onto the ground of this island as a student. It’d be rather cliché to say that felt like yesterday. But, truth is, I often caught myself running out of breath trying to pace up to what I’m expected to.

Sometimes, when I thought I have changed, for better or for the worse, I’d fumble into something or someone and realize, hey, I’m not that different after all! I have been that much of a person probably since birth, just that then I was less self conscious and was much more spared when I was a child.

Today’s plan did not work out like what it was supposed to, and changed to a movie called ‘Tabei: Our Mother’. It’s a story about how a mother has endured hardships during world war when her husband was sent to detention and has later died. It struck me how obediently people were expected to act during the time. Girls were to act so reserved that they walked in small steps, talked softly, avoided eye contacts and worse, constantly sat on their folded legs? It caught me thinking, didn’t any of them feel tired at all? Then there was this kind soul, the husband’s student, who had taken great care of the family while he was gone. I never thought much of his intention, until M whispered to my ears, why is this guy so nice to the family? Then when I finally figured they probably have feelings for each other, the movie ended with the mother breathing the last breath wishing she could meet her husband one last time.

There are always times when I reflect upon different relationships (friendships, family, love) that I have had. I remember being whelmed by lyrics like ‘love is just a feeling’ or lines like ‘people always leave’ and then took pride in understanding what it meant while disregarding them as overrated emotional propaganda that people exaggerated. As time goes by, as stupid as it sounds, I began to fear the loss, the feelings of abandonment, the broken heart, the disappointments, the failure that come either from or to me. Tell me, if soul mate exists, how would anyone survive if his or her such thing called soul mate dies?


‘I don’t want to meet him in another world. I want to meet him one last time in this world..