helplessness

At times like this, you feel like you're combating this alone and that you just hate yourself more for your incapability. It would be better if I could live that dream that I just had.

Pursuing some dreams

There are certain types of people that we happen to see on the bus, on the train, on the street or in the café that would give us a sudden jolt back to memory of the past. Today I saw a very happy family on the train, they reminded me of the ex-colleagues. Sometimes I wonder why something happened and the others did not. The realization brought a smile to my face. Everything happens for a reason.

There are a lot of things that I dislike about myself. One of them is procrastination. I often find myself feeling so sick about what I am doing that I can't bring myself to do anything else. Is it because we are all living the lives that we are forced to live? Sometimes I wish I can irritate myself less.

Oh, and we need to write essay to apply for a job nowadays. I chose the topic 'do we always have to be ourselves?'

Well, I'll take a very definite 'NO' on this. J

Memory of a goldfish

As you may have known, I do not have a very good memory. So much so that I pissed a lot of people off, well myself mostly.

So today, I forgot a password that I've set for a very important account just few days ago. FML.

Am feeling extremely demotivated now L

Can anyone tell me what do I do when my supervisor didn't reply me after I sent him my Chap 1 draft? Should I just carry on or wait for him to give me a headstart?

-___-

Bizarre

There must be 1000 things running in my mind right now, so much so that I forgot how to unlock my house door. No, I'm not kidding. I forgot which way to turn my key, turned paranoid, and came out with following conclusions:

1. The house is possessed.
   
2. The house is held hostage by some universal soldiers.
   
3. My landlords finally got tired of me and want me out.
   
4. The door knob or my key is spoilt.
   

So, I called my sister and my landlords. Naturally, they were totally dumbfounded. LOL. 'hellodanidunnowhyicantunlockmydoor!' 'HAR?!' ahahhahha. I'm so gonna act blur when they ask me what happened later.

All the career talks, mid-hanging blogshop and my headless case study are draining me out. And not to mention, there seemed endless bickers with him. I've never known the stubborn side of me until I met him.

Oh, CNY is around the corner! I dunno if it's just me. I don't feel the hype to buy any new clothes. Yet. Oh wait, I did buy a pair of sandals and a bag, which I'm contemplating whether to wait till CNY. Do we really have to use new things during CNY. Hmmmm…

important lesson

while it's very exciting to set up your own business when everyone tells you it's super easy and that they can easily provide u help...

but whaaamz! suddenly everyone backs out, every littlest thing starts to go wrong and u go

WTF are we doing?

that's when you realise you really can't count on the uncountable factors before you get them sorted out first.

and isn't it irritating that we have to do a final year project?? can't we just graduate like that -__-

I love REAL ESTATE! and my one and only professor. oh btw, it's a love-intimidating affair between me and him :D

That picture

It's only second week of school and I'm already feeling damn jaded. The career fair organized by the school is supposed to provide opportunities for the bright shooting stars but also a reality check of those-me who don't really fit into the picture.

Sometimes I really do not know how to expect of you. I hate it when I act like any other girl; I hate it more when I'm different from any other girl.

I've sworn to become a better person in this New Year, a person who sees glass as a fraction filled, a person who knows what she wants, and a person who fits into that picture.

Today, is one of those very few days that I make effort to catch up with my good old buddy. It's funny why I've been feeling out of place lately, cos it's when I remember how perfectly natural it was for me to be me.

I haven't updated since the last decade, literally. To my most avid readers, whom I totally know who are you, haha, I'm so sorry. I've been detached from the sucky cruel actuality. So, maybe I should start by saying happy new year! Welcome to the year of closure and also the beginning. Ahem. :s

Have met way too many unfortunate events lately that I think this year is gonna be a bad year for me. it started on last Thursday, I went to check my account balance of my ATM machine, note: CHECK, wasn't even gonna withdraw any money. Then after I see that my mom's cheque was in, I exited the main menu, and wanted to get my cards back. It hanged. How frequent on earth that an ATM machine hang? Then after a few buttons, it made some weird crunching noise, and dang! Your card has been retained.

wtf! I called OCBC Singapore,

'we are so sorry about that, but we can't do anything for you. You can try calling OCBC Malaysia to check your card status.'

Ok, so I called OCBC KL,

'I see, yea your card PROBABLY have been destroyed. However, you may call OCBC Singapore to ask if they can make a replacement card for you.'

And so I called OCBC Singapore again, fuming.

'I'm so sorry mam, I'm afraid we can't do anything for you, I'm so sorry that you have to go through so much inconveniences, but you really have to go back to Malaysia and get a card replacement or CALL OCBC MALAYSIA AGAIN AND SEE WHAT THEY CAN DO FOR YOU.'

'SO EVEN THOUGH IT'S TOTALLY NOT MY FAULT THAT YOUR MACHINE ATE MY CARD, EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE MADE ME CALLED BACK AND FRO SO MANY TIMES, EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU MANY TIMES THAT I WON'T GO BACK TO MALAYSIA ANYTIME SOON, YOU CAN'T MADE ANY ARRANGEMENT TO HELP ME WITH THIS MATTER?'

'that's correct mam, we are so sorry for all the inconveniences mam.'

IDIOTS!

And that was one of the very few times that I screamed to a customer officer -.-

Oh and I called Malaysia 2 more times that day, and surprisingly, Malaysian customer service was so much better than Singaporeans. At least they really did bother to check and offer some suggestions.

Then it was Friday, I went to develop photos at 12noon, which I double, triple, quadruple checked with the sales girl that I could collect it 3 hours later.

At 3pm, I walked in, showed her the receipt. I was talking to Nor at tht time.

She threw the receipt back on the table, 'you should get it at 7pm'

I ended my conversation and looked at her incredulously.

'What's wrong?'

'you said I could collect in 3 hours!'

'no I said 3 to 4 hours, you came at 12 sth right, so come back at 7pm!'

'3 TO 4 HOURS IS SO NOT 7PM!'

After being screamed at, she went to check at that pile of photos and they were just lying on the photo printing machine. I seriously think the only way to get things done in Singapore is to scream at them. It acts as a stimulus for them to get their work done.

Then, comes depressing Sunday when I failed the biggest interview of my life.

Depressing as it is, life goes on. Tons of work are waiting…