bear with the pink background. I have been containing this recent pink fanatic in me for far too long.

My recent conversation with mom saddened me. Bonds that we would have never thought it would ever break, broke with not a single hope of mending back. Vengeance between parents and kids, brothers with sisters and relatives with relatives and generations with generations broke out like a fire in the bush.

I try to understand from my most rational and just Libran point of view, it all doesn't make sense. and i think it never will.

failed blog transformation

garrrrr this is so ugly :(

so anyways, I am stuck in somebody's house while he's happily getting his routine hair grooming now.

I am a working auntie now and work has not been satisfying at all :(. Dealing with mundane documentations every single day can really demoralise your spirits. Sometimes I looked back and tell myself, it was exactly what I wanted. A job without stress! but man! what a mistake!

Well, it's kind of comforting lol, to know that most of the people I know are complaining about their work. maybe now it's the only time when we really know that the route that we have chosen several years back might not be what we wanted after all.

I remember when I was little, when I still think very very mighty highly of myself, I would imagine myself in some sexy professional work wear, sitting in an office(instead of cubicles) immersing myself in work and have a great social life while earning enough to buy a house for myself by the age of 30. LOL. not really happening right? it's time for a backup plan.

depressing thoughts a side, guilty thoughts have been eating my conscience alive. I've been spending wayyyy too much lately. So much so that every time I buy something I have to hide inside my bag so that my scary sister don't interrogate me and release my conscience eating guilt to bury me alive. zz. and the worst thing is, my job doesn't really require me to dress up. LOL. damn. why is reality so much different from imaginations?

so yea, I'm officially left with nothing in my account and 100 dollars in my wallet until my next pay comes in 2 weeks time. If you love me, please make me stop.

next up, hmm, updates of my whereabouts?

1. have I not updated about my Bali short trip? it was a nice getaway, minus off the scalding hot sun, the pushy hawkers, and the dirty side of the beach. haha. yea so what are we left with? ah!! fuck cannot upload pictures!!! what have I done to my blogger.

haih. I will salvage this and come back to finish this post. DAMN!