sometimes i can feel his presence

'if u can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad or unsure, or when u lose complete faith, then you try to see yourself through my eyes. thank you for the honor of being my wife... u made my life holly, but i'm just one chapter of yours, there'll be more, i promise..'

p.s. i love you

been wanting to write about this since i watched the movie, but i think i am brain stuck. but anyway, isn't it great to have someone who knows you better than you do yourself to watch over you all the time? : )

today is one of the very rare occasions i cook

and i flooded the kitchen floor
i'm so tired
:(

the some of the many things about exam

LOL.. when u have a camera at hand, any moment is the moment to take a picture, even when u're supposed to be studying very 'hardly'. ahem.

yesterday's investment was a killer, had the worst panic attack the night before so bad i had to call people and bug different people on msn to calm myself down. i can only attribute my sudden nerve wreck to red bull -_- it can really make your adrenaline run wild like fuck. LOL. ok. no crude words.

so anyway, yesterday felt like a treat day after the most traumatizing paper. i think our profs are (among all other things): inclined to build their happiness on our sufferings, the harder we wreck our brain, the more accomplished they feel. b) crazy. period.

oh did i mention, we need to bring at least 2 calculators during our exams? ...nvm, it's not important..

pictures:

eh why this girl so smug? ask her whether her exam over already not?

i love this picture! my barbie!

i'll have nobody to vain with after she leaves for sweden :(



ok spare you guys from my narcissism. here's a funny episode in the thai restaurant we dined in yesterday:

me: yay! finally i can eat something! i'll have this yellow ginger chicken rice!
waitress: are u sure? it's very spicy. i recommend u take other dishes instead. like this honey chicken or this fried rice.
me: hmm.. *look through the menu again* i think i'll stick with this
waitress: it's really spicy u know.
me: it's alright. please :)

after 2 mouths,
*sweating and tearing*
may: i think u should stop eating this.
me: damn.. *wave for waiter* can i get the menu, i'd like to order a soup, not spicy at all, please.

waiter: *i swear he was suppressing his laughter* ok, hmm..take this chicken tang yan soup then.
me: ok. fine.

after another 2 mouths,
waiter: hey do u need me to bring u a glass on lemon juice to go with the yellow ginger chicken?
me: hurhur.. it's ok. thanks.
waiter: *wink* so do u need it?
me: no!

upon paying the bill:
manager: did our staff warn you about the spiciness?
me: yes *dammit* she did -_-

yea.. i know..as i've said.. i'm a lot of nonsense...

on a side note,

Christmas is near! jingle bell jingle bell....*dance away like siao*

as i smile broken

something made me stayed up till almost sunrise this morning and i am truly amazed by myself, hirameki tea might had had worked its magic in my lazy brain. but apart from that, something greater kept me. i watched the video of the last lecture, a truly inspiring dying but high spirited lecturer, watched another soapy drama on a naive girl chasing her dream guy and got herself heartbroken and another on super successful and beautiful women. in the midst of all those sophisticated financial formulas, the word destiny popped out. i realized that i can only keep up and fantasize otherwise. some tiny parts of me are still in denial, but i trust the rationality of my libran nature :) as what someone has told me, look into the bigger picture :D

2 days before the BIG day

and so i haven't a single idea how would i manage to answer the 2 very sacred questions so that it helps me to get a chance to do a dissertation next semester.. haha..i know..it's a very distant connection but it's true.

i spent invested some good money so that i can get in the mood to study this month. like this lipton hirameki tea that pinkpau said is good for mugging period which has also just left me with a semi cooked tongue a few seconds ago -_- i swear i left it to cool for almost one hour but it is still steaming hot..

and something i do which will be deemed unnecessary for most people :
1. spend almost 3 hours (i'mnotkidding) travel to and fro to school library to study
2. find a nice quiet cafe with a beautiful ambiance to study
3. buy all sorts of pens (this is NECESSARY of cos)
4. treat chocolates and snacks as if they're the exam staple
5. keep a distance from my baby or else i'd end up doing this shit like now
6. stay away from my home so that the evil lazy bug in my body will go away
7. weekly dose of shopping or hangout to keep myself motivated(?!?!)

and so i decided to stay home today!
and the result is.. a very unproductive day, an extremely hungry stomach
and...




a very messy room
LOL

tht time of the month

i still remember sometime last year
it wasn't so bad
=)

teehee.. the weekend of the pig-like mugger

if my parents ever found out how we both spend our time and money, or more specifically their money, they'll probably cut us out from their financial budget and summon us back home.. hahhaa..

hehe.. taken with my handsomest latest baby panacam :D
what a baby!

yea.. i should probably cut the crap and head back to more serious stuff.. but hey.. let me present.... .... ....

hahahahha.. see the smug face omg!

the one of a kind feeling

' i don't mind not having a place to stay, don't mind not getting a job, don't mind having no money.. and i don't mind having illness.. but losing her.. it's bad'

i met with a friend the other day and he told me this. it was so sad to see him like this, he said her gf was dealing with a lot of pressures and that she can't balance her life with him. i didn't know what to say to him, sometimes love is ironic, people in love and make all kinds of vows at times when they are in love and before you know it, they are merely words that people say at the spurs of the moment. it's not that they are lies, but just words came out at that moment, and the feelings at that moment was true. like what we called 'double edge sword', these words that are once so beautiful might end up the ones that hurt most some day.

and love, some kinda sick feeling which at times you don't even realize you're feeling it. like this very funny story nor told me. there's this guy who'd been chasing this girl for the longest time, like 2 years? the girl had always been rejecting him ever since till one day he decided to give up. the funniest thing is, the girl finally feels empty and realize that she has feeling for him and they ended up together. haha.

there is this gf of mine who was 2 timing her bf, one back home and one here. i wasn't very happy knowing what she was doing, but in the end, she chose to end her fling. she was worried that the fling partner might have an emotional break down as he always show his emotional self to her, but i told her guys like this don't feel as bad as she thinks. and true enough now the fling partner is dating another girl and she was left feeling disappointed and guilty when faced with her long time bf.

and another thing i notice, some couple which last very long, some are merely just out of habit. a friend once told me, she took one whole year mourning over her 2 year relationship thinking she couldn't live without him. but it was really just a feeling. nobody is supposed to can't live without somebody else can they? and when a relationship always has encounter breakups, it really means that there is something wrong with the relationship but due to habits, couples often stick together.

then there's this very 'unique' sick characteristic some guy may possess. haha. this comes from a good-husband-material guy, he said that a good guy who genuine care for a girl WILL not come in between she and her bf unless he knows that her bf wasn't treating her right. and a guy who did that, no matter how sincere or how emotional he appears to be, it is just some sick strategies to win a girl over to feed his ego. a guy like this will keep pestering until when the girl finally gave in, he'd leave seeing that she's no more challenge to him.

i used to be very puzzled when i heard of guys being very flower hearted when girls are always the victims in the relationship as i always heard stories about guys chasing over girls and girls dumping guys and read about love novels that guys are so fantastic and loyal lover during my secondary years. dun u just miss seeing those guys who are always trying to act machos and emo to protect the girls?? haha. was i so very wrong! so i attribute this to 2 reasons. one being guys change when they grew older and realize that girls are not as precious as they thought. second is, guys have harder hearts and girls tend to feel too much.

and finally girls are probably one of the most stupid beings when they are flattered. every girl likes to flattered, admit it or not, it boosts confidence in us. when a girl stay in a relationship for too long, she tends to feel bored and forgets how much she loves her guy and easily strayed when she is flattered by some other guy when her bf does not. when a guy is in love, really in love, he wouldn't stray that easily which then means he will have an extra high tolerance towards the girl. but i guess this paragraph is just some weak observations cos i never heard of stories otherwise.

ok.. haha.. i'm in mood for essay today, probably because i didn't write too well for my HR paper! GRrrrrr..

Dear you

if you are reading this, i should feel alil comforted as i would feel that u still care, however little it is. all those accusations you made, I've been keeping quiet all this while. i wan to let you know that i've been reading, and it hurts every time but i still read it. and i sometimes do not understand why i allow all these lies when u act like you're the victim. i apologized, i tried to make truce, and finally i tried to shut myself out and u said it's all because of a boy. it jus proves all over and over again how much u know me. i stood by the side and see how much dissatisfactions u have against me. I never get it and you never would.

never have i made any counter comments cos i'm afraid it may bring an end to everything. i do this and openly because i have had enough. u said i hurt you, i wanna tell you, however much metaphor u think you are using, u hurt me too, badly. i am human too, i have my feelings. you expect me to get back to you after everything every blades u have stabbed into me with just that few lines i can't. people u have hurt get back to you because they love you and you love them. you can say i don't love you enough. maybe tht's true and i do not anticipate any puny place in your heart that can accommodate me.. maybe it's just the end.

it is from me. let's just stop hurting each other pseudo-secretly. we all know each other too well.

mugger wong without mugger spirit during studious week

i think i really very fan jian leh.. cannot study at home at all.. why everybody can study at their own rooms but i can't???? -_- tomorrow gotta go spinelli study again... grrrr..i sure am going to go broke after this month....so anyway.. hahhaa.. one of the factors that may have contributed to my lack of mood to study might be the absence of my little sister.. however minute it is or however annoying she can be sometimes...(she had gone home for the weekend) butbutbut! is going to bring back tons of goodies.. heheee... my belated birhtday giftssssss!!!my parents are the best parents in the whole wide world!!and i can't wait!!!! muahahhahahaha...

before i head back to more nonsence..i wanna make a wish!

fairy god mugger.. can u use your wand and turn me into a mugger (must be a sexy one though..) these 3 weeks??!? can can can?? hehe..

*tink* 8-D

today i woke up feeling confused, haven't a single idea where was i, what day and what time was it. then it set in, alone in the bed i stared into space for some moment and decided it wasn't time to wake up yet:) i went to turn off the light that i left turned on on previous night, and carried my working lappie back to the table and walked back to sleep... it's just another day, a day which could have been spent on a beautiful beach with crystal clear water, soft golden sand and cool fresh breeze, in the company of the best smile in the world. and so i slipped quietly to my escape land...

german oral test eve

can i just turn into heidi klum for one day tomorrow and ace my oral test???

GARrrr.. i wish my tongue can stop twisting so much so that i can finish one sentence without pausing every other word..
...
...
..oh maybe i can try self prophecy theory again
i'm sexy
i'm pretty
i'm heidi klum
i have long and sexy legs
i will ace my oral test!
:D
ich spreche fantastisch Deutsch!
LOL..
yea.. probably not very correct also.. damn

my unbelievable sister

case 1:
date: early september
place: Wheelock place
time: evening
crime scene: female toilet

'hey sis, call my phone, i couldnt seem to find my phone in this bag'
'ook' *dialling*
... ...
'what are you doing i asked you to call my phone!'
'i'm calling your phone.. it's connected'
'omfg!! it's not here!'
'what?!?'
'gimme your phone.. i shud keep calling!'
'have you look properly?'
'there's no more dial tone..it's dead.. it's gone T.T'

case 2:
date: late september
crime scene: taxi 5am in the morning after a night of serious partying on her own
place: on the bed
time: first thing in the morning

*open my eyes*
*a pair of serious eyes staring into my eyes*
'what?'
'jie i tell u sth, but dun scold me'
'what?'
'i lost my phone again'
'huh?!?!'
'i know.. i couldn't sleep and i can't reach my phone already'
'-_-''' '

case 3:
date: 1st november 2008
crime scene: night rider 4am after another night of partying
place: home

*rummaging frantically through her bag*
' so i take shower first ya?'
'hmm..'
'what are u searching for anyway?'
'have u seen my phone???'
.....



so much for cheap partying...