7/20

Point to note: try to avoid any birds flying over your head, cos they might shit on your head, 2 hours before your interview.

7/20

This interview came with a bit of my usual comic act. The conversation went like this:

Lady: hello, this is geraldineee.. (notice the long eeee that she pulled) from XXX. are u free to talk now, u're not working or anything right?

Me: *thinking it's my classmate Geraldine* haha, hey, nolarr what's up?!

Lady: oh ok, I'm calling to refer to your application for marketing executive position in XXX. Would u be keen to have an interview with us?

Me: *stunned for few seconds thinking f**k did I just put my foot in my mouth again* hurhur.. yea of course!! Sure sure.. hurhurr…..(totally lost of words)

…

not cool(chew,2010).

6/20

Done.

Good points: I made a point that I love valuation and travelling which is what the job required.

Points to note:

1. Try not to say anything when they're looking through your transcript when your grades are not impressive, at all.
   
2. Common sense: just recall the basic knowledge that you've learnt within the job scope before interview-_-
   
3. Don't smile like an idiot.
   

Ok I think that's all. Wish me luck, fingers crossed.

6/20

Yesterday's interview was more like a chatting session, there's nothing stressful like the previous ones. The MD even said I look calm which, is very good for the job :D. But it's kinda hard to say if they would hire me because I realize I didn't really talk much about my strengths. Hmm.. gotta take note of that next time.

Anyways, yes, as the title goes, 6/20's coming up. And this is closest to my dream job. Wish me luck, again! J

5/20

Coming up. Wish me good luck! J

self note

Is this worse than dying?

No.

But it makes you feel like you're dying?

Yes.

But it's still not as bad as dying?

No.

So are u afraid of dying?

Yes.

Do u stop living just because u're afraid of dying?

No.

So this is not as bad as dying?

No.

So why are u so scared of carrying on?

I feel like I have been living days with a constant state of confusion. I must really pull myself together before I totally fall to the point of hopelessness. Days have been spent with a guilty lack of motivation of accomplishing the mundane tasks and at the same time the dreadful but crucial job search. I know eternal failure lies in the wake of constant lack of self confidence. But, the truth is, I am really scared of what's going to happen and what's not. I know it's not healthy to always think of how I always do things unprepared and ended up failing everything. And feeling constantly sinking while losing the lifeboat and left to struggle helpless for my life in the deep blue ocean. Dreams have been blurred just like how they always have been when u have to stand up to your decision. Confidence crept away while courage is gone. The combination of these will only bring about more than just mere physiological damage. Things will look up, I pray.

Sorry

You mean the world to me.

3/20

I just completed the third interview and of course, I didn't pass that but hey, as the title says, I'm only 2/30 through the whole interview thingy. Although I do feel a little sad about this, I am not entirely bitter partly because I know I have improved, slow but steady J

The interviewers today were sharp but they were very nice. I got a shock when she said, oh I learn that u do have a blogshop right? :s All in all, besides telling me quite straight-forwardly they wont hire me lol, they really did tell me what went wrong which I'm taking it surprisingly positively.

So points to note:

1. Be really well prepared and be able to really say out what does the company do.
   
2. A leasing/ marketing executive needs to be constantly hungry (well, not literally of course)
   
3. A leasing marketer needs to be analytical, good with numbers, and erm hungry.
   
4. Can't tell them I'm not actively looking for a job. Actually I am actively looking for a job, it beats the hell out of me the things that I say sometimes.
   
5. Be hungry
   
6. Can't tell them the rest of the things that you are occupied with.
   
7. Be confident.
   

Ok, that's all. One thing I still don't understand, how did she know I had a blogshop??

What ifs?

There are so many what ifs in my life right now. Some are past tense, some are very present while some are not far away in the future. They have been existent all this while but lately, dealing with all these questions has become really daunting.

Graduation is just 2 months away, I've never been so dreaded to move on to the next stage of my life before. Sometimes I feel that the little girl within me helplessly screams 'help me!' in hope that someone might come by to guide her steps by steps

. The rational side of me knows that that is not going to happen.

And so I told myself to just live, because there are too many what ifs in life to be cared less about.

What happens next?

Tell me I’ll be alright:(

Be be assertive!

Cognitive dissonance

Do you guys know what is sooooo depressing about going to travel?? It is to come back and face the enormous pile of shit work that is waiting for you, smiling ever evilly.

Bangkok was great. Shopping in Bangkok is breathtaking (because you will go, gasp! Omg this is soooo cheapppppppp!) sighs, it's actually not so cheap when u add up your total expenses of a trip.

Time to get back to work. Piles of shit work await!