I feel like I have been living days with a constant state of confusion. I must really pull myself together before I totally fall to the point of hopelessness. Days have been spent with a guilty lack of motivation of accomplishing the mundane tasks and at the same time the dreadful but crucial job search. I know eternal failure lies in the wake of constant lack of self confidence. But, the truth is, I am really scared of what's going to happen and what's not. I know it's not healthy to always think of how I always do things unprepared and ended up failing everything. And feeling constantly sinking while losing the lifeboat and left to struggle helpless for my life in the deep blue ocean. Dreams have been blurred just like how they always have been when u have to stand up to your decision. Confidence crept away while courage is gone. The combination of these will only bring about more than just mere physiological damage. Things will look up, I pray.