"all you did is talk and talk and talk! enough is enough! do you want to close the deal or not?" the man at the other end of the line was throwing a fit. everyone was a little taken aback. i gave out a little chuckle, partly amused, partly looking forward to how my boss was going to handle this man. handled he did. composed and calm. situation was defused and everyone ended the call blaming (jokingly) the lawyers for being overly diligent. here's this man-- my new boss whom i come to admire. always respectful, friendly, soft spoken with a certain quiet confidence. mind you, that's very different from where i came from where testosterones is always raging.  but my new work place seems different. at first i think they do not look the part, not the personalities that you would typically see in the industry. but without the suave pretense, the go-getting attitude is probably what gets them to where they are today. it's interesting to see two polar opposites complement each other in leading the work place. one idealist grand planner and the other, grounded executor. both have complete trust in each other. it also does not seem like there is a separation of work from play and they seem to spend all their time together. i wonder if it's due to my age lol, i am still adjusting to the new place after almost quitting in the first months but i'm glad i stayed. work is starting to get enjoyable again. :)

i was watching this kdrama twenty five twenty one and it reminds me so much of my young self. triggered by the great first love in the series, i started digging my old emails and discovered some really cringey sad emails to the certain someone once special. i did not remember writing those and was frantically double checking whether i did send those out post break up lol. i did not, thank god. i remember feeling sad but from what i wrote, it must have felt like the world was ending around me haha. i somehow ended up in this space again. they say the older you get, the faster time flies and i guess that's true. i am turning 36 and the first post i posted here was when i was 21 (holy shittt!) i was cringing as i read through the rambles i made but i guess having digital record is good as i would not have been able to remember what went through my mind when i was still a young soul. Back to the drama, i feel very related to the lead actors whom feel so much of the emotions when they are together. they supported each other through ups and downs. holding back for each other's sake and showing up for each other when necessary. the relationship was platonic but oh so sweet for most part of the series. i was so emotionally invested in the show that after the episode where they finally got together after 5 years, my heart was still fluttering when i went to sleep. my heart then breaks with them when they drifts apart after just one year when both of them start their professional lives. Fast forward many years later, the lead actress finally finds closure and looks back at her first love and thank him for the fond memories. So much feels. sometimes I do wonder how he’s doing, was I his great first love too? will the distant memories make him smile like how it makes me smile sometimes?