as i smile broken

something made me stayed up till almost sunrise this morning and i am truly amazed by myself, hirameki tea might had had worked its magic in my lazy brain. but apart from that, something greater kept me. i watched the video of the last lecture, a truly inspiring dying but high spirited lecturer, watched another soapy drama on a naive girl chasing her dream guy and got herself heartbroken and another on super successful and beautiful women. in the midst of all those sophisticated financial formulas, the word destiny popped out. i realized that i can only keep up and fantasize otherwise. some tiny parts of me are still in denial, but i trust the rationality of my libran nature :) as what someone has told me, look into the bigger picture :D